…love Jillian

         So this weekend, we are going to Celebrate America with the best of them.  That’s right it the annual Santa-Cali-Gon Days in the heart of Independence.  Yep, everyone needs to put on their Guns N Roses t-shirts and frayed cut off shorts and head on out to the Independence Square for carnival food and craft tents! 

         You have never seen so many different types of carnival food peppered in between tent after tent of homemade crafts, toys, and well, if you can make it in the comforts of your own home, it will be at Santa-Cali-Gon Days!  Everything from furniture to sand jars.

         I’ve been going to this festival as long as I can remember.  My Mom and Grandma would walk our little legs all over the Independence Square looking for just the right thing and somewhere along the line I started to like going and now, it’s an annual thing that I get to do with my mom and sister, and of course Dad, Hubs, and Bret.  This will be Hubs’ first Santa-Cali-Gon and I’m not sure it’s on the top of his list  but he better get used to it because this festival is a can’t miss…if you’re from Independence, love carnival  food, and own a glue gun!  Which I do! 

It’s gonna be awesome!

No Comments | In: Celebrating America | | #

Dear Bill,

         Hi!  I’m a frequent participant in your events.  (I use the term “frequent participant” loosely considering I’ve only shown for ½ the events I’ve registered for thus far this year.  And I’m on the fence about the upcoming race this Sunday.)  While my participation is questionable, one thing is not—your website. You use the same format for all the KLM events and while I’m down with convenience; your websites NEVER work.  They freeze, the buttons don’t work, and my entire internet experience has been shut down more than once. 

         Now, I know what my husband would say, “use Firefox—it’s better.”  But Bill, I don’t wanna use Firefox.  I like Internet Explorer (as do millions of other Americans) and we have a right to a functional website.

          Anyway, the point is this:  I need to know when/where to pick up my race packet and what time to arrive at the race.  (Well, more importantly I need to know what time MY race starts so I can determine whether I even want to participate.)  I have a more enticing Burn and Butt Camp at Fusion Fitness I want to attend and you see Bill, Fusion is something that I truly enjoy and while racing can be fun when done in conjunction with a friend or husband (on the same course) this season of solo racing is not high on my priority list.  So, before I allow Hubs to drag me out of bed, load my bike, force feed me breakfast bars and 5 Hour Energies I want to make sure I can fit the Duathlon in before Fusion.  If not, I’m skipping and headed to Butt Camp.

        Without knowing for sure I can only believe it starts at 830 and at 830; I’ll never make it…especially with Hubs in tow—he’s the slowest person on the planet.  Not at racing; just in life.  (And by slow I mean he has a low sense of urgency.)  And when I’m in a big hurry and he isn’t the scenario goes like this:  foot tap, foot tap, yelling, “YOU ARE THE SLOWEST PERSON ON THE PLANET,” followed by lots of loud sighs and showing up late somewhere—which really isn’t good for our marriage.  The point is:  Can I fit the Duathlon in comfortably and still make it to Butt Camp?    

         So, Bill, in the meantime, one more wife is making her husband do things she could probably do on her own but is making him do it out of principal.  (The principal being I refuse to switch to Firefox because your website never works.) 

         Oh, and FYI Hubs is still mad he didn’t get a t-shirt from Jackson County last year—first come first serve never serves us since we usually show up moments before the starting bell.

I’ll see you at packet pickup.

Jillian

No Comments | In: Biking, Running, Triathlons/Racing, Workout | | #

          Today is my first day back to school.  Wow.  I still can’t believe I’m 30 years old and haven’t finished my undergrad.  How lame!

           The first day of school marks another busy semester with more events than one girl can possibly squeeze in.  Class.  Work.  Work.  AAKC dinner meeting (that requires me to actually talk in public.)  Followed by yet another class.  12 hour days are a little long for this girl.  And how is one girl suppose to fit it all in?  Well, she didn’t.  She missed Fusion.  (And yes, I’m talking in 3^rd person.)  I understand that on a day like today something’s gotta give but I think the most bothersome thing is Fusion was the first thing to get eliminated.  I suppose of all the items mentioned above the only truly expendable one is Fusion.   No one is paying to me to go.   No one is grading me on whether or not I show up.  And the only person that really cares about Fusion is me.  Sure, I pay to go but I buy the unlimited package so they get their money either way. 

          The point is this:  Fusion will only stay a priority if I make it one.  I’m finally starting to see REAL results.  I can’t remember the last time my tummy fat didn’t roll over the top of my underwear when I sat down and I don’t wanna go back there….unless of course that means we are cooking a baby. 

          When I first started going to Fusion I was going in the mornings—then I realized I like going at night better and tried to make it when I didn’t have class.  And then when summer classes ended I was making it almost every night.  And now I need it.  I need it to stay sane.  I need it to remind me to eat better.  I never in a million years thought down dog would turn into a relaxing position that I crave.

          So, what is a girl to do when all her waking hours are filled with stuff?   As much as I HATE to even  entertain this idea—I might have to try getting up in the 5’s and make it to early early Fusion (two earlies because prior to this thought the only days I saw 545 was on race day and even then I pouted the entire was to the event location.  Ask Hubs.)  The question is:  Can I do it?  And how many days will it take to get into the habit?  And how on earth and I’m going to get up at 5 when I don’t get home from class til 945?  (I need my sleep.  And by sleep I mean a solid 8-9 hours.  Yeah, we don’t have kids.)

          In all honesty, if I didn’t have an AAKC meeting tonight I could have made it to Fusion before class (which was my original plan until I was reminded by my trusty Google calendar that I had to network and generate business.)   So, maybe I will only have to get up at 5 on days when I have more crap than time. I know deep down inside the next day I have more crap than time; I will simply abandon Fusion and get all my obligations handled instead of getting up super early and squeezing it in.  However, I also know deep down inside that if I could get up, get Fusioned, and get showered before I was required to do anything; my days would be so much less stressful (scheduling wise.) 

         So, maybe tomorrow I will try to get up and get out of the house by 5 or maybe I’ll set my alarm and snooze til 6 and then happily reset my alarm for 730.  We’ll see what happens.  One thing I know for sure:  I feel like I’m missing something important today.  And I don’t like it.

1 Comment | In: Workout | | #

So, I have a ton of topics that need to be discussed, none worthy of their own post so here they are:

• I purchased the Laser Hair Removal Groupon a couple weeks ago but cannot get up the nerve to actually make the appointment.  I mean, I hate needles — I cried like a baby when I was forced to take an additional measles shot when I was 19 (yeah, I know laser treatment isn’t NEEDLES but I’m just trying to give you a measuring stick for my pain tolerance.  It’s low.)  So, now every time I think about calling and making my first appointment I immediately get sweaty and nervous.  I think Hubs is gonna have to go with me….isn’t that why women get married?  So, they have someone to drag along on scary (albeit elective) appointments?
• Fusion is working.  I know it.  I can feel it in my legs and butt and shoulders and abs.  And I’ve noticed that every time I think I’m building up some sort of tolerance to the level of Fusion I’m doing there is a more advanced modification; and so begins the pain all over again.  I think that is why I love it.  When I started the only parts that got sore were my back, abs, and shoulders.  But the stronger I get the more deep I can feel the exercises.  It’s like a light goes off and I can finally understand what the exercise is SUPPOSE to feel like and I feel like such a dumbass because I’ve been actively participating in the exercise without being able to tell which part it was suppose to be working.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t strong enough to work the parts intended or maybe it just takes a bit of practice.  Either way, it’s working.   I can tell–even if the scale doesn’t agree with me….
• Hubs and I’s relationship feels good.  We are as happy as we’ve ever been.  Or at least I am.  It’s amazing how putting a little bit of distance (aka independence) on things makes such a big difference.  I feel like I’ve owned the things I want to be doing: Pilates, reading, school, running, and not worrying so much about our schedules lining up.  Which in turn has basically put the urgency on him and he responded right away!  I felt the shift immediately and I have to admit…it feels kinda good
• Our finances have been locked down.  Hubs got his allowance and he finally seems to own the amount.  Before, he would qualify purchases (food, drinks, snacks, exercise, misc crap) item by item and day by day whether they fell in the allowance or debit card category.  But now, EVERYTHING falls in allowance and it makes a difference since I do’t have to log in to see what he’s spent before we go to dinner or something.  The Carter Family has two major financial priorities right now:  paying down bills and buying a house.   I think if we can keep up this pace we will be out of debt and living the American dream in no time; although I’m not sure the 2.5 kids fit in our plan so we might just have 1 or 2 (depending on the sex of the first one) and let Juls/Bret have the our extra 1.5/.5–then they can have an even 3 or 4.  That sounds easier than trying to have ½ a kid…I hope Juls and Bret appreciate our generosity!  

Oh, and since you brought it up—kids.  We’re working on it (and that’s all I have to say about that)

No Comments | In: Babies, I miss my metabolism, Life, Marriage, Our Home, Workout | | #

         So this morning I get up, head to work, and prepare myself for the one thing in life I truly hate doing (besides laundry): getting my teeth cleaned.  I spent the day getting all the things done that needed to be done because after getting my teeth scraped, poked, and prodded I knew I was pretty much done for the day. 

           I got there a little early since I have new insurance (thanks Hubs AND Garmin) and I immediately hit it off with the office staff.  Talk about some fun reception ladies!  After several minutes of giggling and laughing it’s time.  Time for the torture to begin. 

          So, I head back , get settled and the worlds most informative dental hygienist starts with my xrays.  When she opened my mouth she started off by showing me the diet coke stains on the undersides of my teeth—Yikes.  And then the tarter/plaque build-up removal—less than pleasant but not unbearable.  Finally, Dr Dentist comes in and does his thing (I don’t know exactly what his thing is but he was feverishly looking and then checking the computer and then looking again—he finally pulls out my x-ray to show me the faintest little dark spot and says, “See that?  It’s the beginning of a tiny cavity.  We are gonna need to get that filled.”  Great.  But at least, I’m done for today.

          When I’m checking out with reception our conversation goes like this: 

Me:  Hi I’m back.  I’m done but allegedly I have a tiny cavity and need a followup.  (I use the term alledgedly because I don’t actually know what cavities look like so I have no choice but to take Dr. Dentists word for it)

Receptionist:  Hi!  Mrs Dental Hygenist said that since you were “crying” (clearly they use the term crying loosely as only a couple of tears pathetically rolled out of  my eyes during the worlds longest chalkboard scrapping) they switched to the (I can’t exactly remember what she called it so I call it the) “water thingy.”  It cost more than just a regular cleaning. 

Me:  Of course it does. 

Receptionist:  We called your insurance to see what they would cover and we were surprised when they said 100%.  (Reason #1 love my Garmin sponsored insurance) 

Me:  YES!  Score!

Receptionist:  So, when do you wanna do your “filling?”

Me:  Hmmmmmm

Receptionist:  What’s your schedule?

Me:  Weeeeellllll (clearly dragging my feet on committing to a time.  Fillings require needles!)

Receptionist:  Hooooow about now? 

Me:  Now?  As in right now?

Receptionist:  Yep. Let’s do it.

Me: (reluctantly) fiiiiiiinnnne. 

          So instead of rescheduling I started my entire dentist experience over again by sitting in the waiting room waiting to hear my name called so I can be shot in the mouth with the world’s largest needle.  (Btw, I HATE shots.)  

          After I was called and Dr Dentist came back he chuckled a little and said he wrote a special note in my file last time noting how nervous I get (Reason #1 I love my dentist) so he would use the same “shake the lip” technique he used last time.  (And it worked again.)  I barely felt anything (Reason # 2 I love my dentist).  So there I am sitting in the chair watching the clock as he drills, fills, and files my new filling—639 ticks on the clock later he sets me up and sends me on my way. 

So, back to the reception desk I go.  Our conversation goes like this:

Me:  I’m back.  Just slightly less happy than when I was here just 639 seconds ago.

Reception:  We called your insurance company to find out what they would cover on the “white” since it’s not covered at the same % as regular fillings. 

Me:  Yeah, I know.

Reception:  The total is $170

Me:  $170???!?!??!?!?!???!?!?!?!??!!!?!?!?!! OMG!

Reception:  Well, that’s before you’re insurance

Me:  Oh good.  (I was expecting $80ish as that’s what it cost me the last time)

Reception:  $30 (Reason #2 I love Garmin)

Me:  Hallelujah!  I LOVE Garmin  

So, now, since Dr Dentist is a mouth numbing pro I’m seriously drooling.  But I don’t care.  It’s done and now I don’t have to think about it until February—when I have to go back and get some more scraping and prodding (aka a checkup) done…..

No Comments | In: Being an adult is lame | | #

         So, this morning I got up and my legs were super sore from last night’s Fusion. Which would normally invoke abandoning morning workouts and waiting til the evening but when I let the puppies out it was cool and overcast—the perfect running weather. So, what did I do? I got my running shoes and went for a quick two mile run before work. Let me say that one more time for those of you in shock, I went for a quick two mile run. Yes I went running. By myself.
         I’m not sure what has gotten in to me. I’ve been wanting to run ever since the weather turned cooler (which I suppose is only a few days but still…) and finally getting out there felt really good. My Garmin watch was dead so I don’t know exactly how long it took me but even if it was the slowest 2 miles of my life I’m still happy I did it.
         Speaking of running, I decided (all by myself with no pressure from Hubs) to run the KC Half Marathon again this fall. I was really proud of myself for running it last year and I think I owe it to myself to do it again. The training plan is fairly easy—just a few short runs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday; so it’s not overwhelmingly hard or long. So, we’ll see how that goes….
          Oh, and I went to Fusion again tonight–now my legs AND butt are killing me. I think that means it’s working…

No Comments | In: I miss my metabolism, Workout | | #

         This weekend Hubs and I went to Table Rock Lake with Mom, Dad, Juls, and Bret.  It was two days of good food, good wakeboarding, and family fun.  We had a great time with only one slight altercation between sisters but hey, who doesn’t fight with their sister; have you seen Keeping Up with Kardashians?

         Hubs and I didn’t make it down til Friday night but apparently mom tried to ski and dad tubed—two activities that happen once in a blue moon. Way to go Mom and Dad!  I really wish I could’ve seen those two events!

          But without a doubt the highlight of the weekend had to be the pristine wakeboarding conditions.  Smooth water with very little traffic made for some exciting passes; the downside?  It was unbearably hot.  So what’s the Wiggans family solution for unbearable heat AND a bunch of newbie wakeboarders?  Drop the non-wakeboarders in the lake with one floating chair, noodle, and a spare life jacket out in a quiet cove and say, “we’ll be back!”  Then protocol keeps the boat “nearby” (nearby as in, the same cove with occasional passes by aforementioned floaters to ensure everyone is still afloat with their thirsts quenched.)  This allows for the best of both worlds: the ability to stay cool and the ability to make this amazing video of our mad wakeboarding skillz (yeah, I just said skillz with a z):

No Comments | In: Family, Wakeboarding, We Like To Go Places | | #

         Last night on my way to Fusion I was caught in what seemed like the worst traffic jam in the history of traffic jams.  No accident, no collapsed road, just people driving slowly and erratically and I missed Fusion.  So, in its absence I took Hubs to see Eat Pray Love. 

         I had extremely high hopes for this movie.  And while I can’t say I thought it was great; it wasn’t awful either—Hubs felt a little differently.  He was less than impressed with the cinematic counterpart to my favorite book.  He was a trooper though; he sat through the entire 2:13 minutes with only a couple annoyed shifts in his seat. And when it was all over, he simply said he couldn’t identify with any of the characters and he has no feelings about this movie at all.  Well, duh–it’s a movie about a woman on a search for self discovery after leaving her dull and lifeless marriage.  I’m not sure what I expected him to say.

         Earlier today, I heard another unfavorable review from a friend, she said, “she enjoyed the book but hated the movie.”  In the movie’s defense; it was exactly what her book was: a quiet journey through Italy, India, and Indonesia aka spaghetti, chanting, and meditation.  And in reality that’s just not very exciting.  Sure, anyone can do action, comedy, or even romance but this was a documentary of her personal travels, inner dialogue, and her slow transformation into the person she wanted to be…

        I can’t imagine how upset the world would be if they had spent $10 to sit through 2:13 minutes of footage from my time in Chicago.  Frozen pizza after frozen pizza, cuddling with Maggie, pilates, staying in, movies, sleeping, yoga, tv, and traveling home to visit my family.  Seriously, that does not an action movie make….

         All in all, I think it was well done.  I thought Julia Roberts played Elizabeth Gilbert perfectly (perfectly as in the vision I had in my mind) and I will definitely watch it again when it comes on TV.  But, in the meantime, I think should re-read the book because so many of her  ideas and ah-ha moments got lost in the making of the movie that it barely scratched the surface on what Elizabeth Gilbert journey was really about….the ever changing need to stay true to yourself.

No Comments | In: Books, Movies | | #

          Eat Pray Love was released last week I’m hoping it lives up the book because I’m super excited to see this movie.  I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir a while ago and it really resonated with me; a woman who abandoned an unsatisfying marriage to live life on her own terms?  Yes, please.  (This book surfaced in my life shortly after I made the decision to leave my own crappy nuptials.)

          Now, I wasn’t able to abandon everything and travel around the world like Elizabeth Gilbert but I did make the decision to take control and live alone in a city where the only people I knew were force to spend the hours of 9-5 with me (I had just started and only knew a couple people better than just being able to recall their first AND last name—those few people became my Chicago family and without them I might have ran home to Kansas City quicker than you could say—nice to know ya.)  Maggie (a dog that still appreciates any weekend plans to stay in, make pizza and watch movies) and I took a couple years to figure out who we were, what we wanted, and where we wanted to be—for me, all roads led right back to my hometown.  For Maggie, the journey was a little less complicated but after her initial excitement to be out of a house where only her Mommy appreciated her, she decided she could be happy as long as there was a steady flow of cuddles and puppy food. 

          In my short life, I’ve left my hometown again and again and somehow always manage to find my way back—the story of my life:  a restless adventurer.  But what I’ve always needed (even now) is exactly what Elizabeth Gilbert found in her journey:  Balance.  Balance in life, friends, family, work, and relationships. 

          I don’t think this movie could have been released at a better time.  I need to be reminded that without balance it will inevitably fall apart.  I need to make sure that I’m cultivating the most important relationship in my life—the one I have with myself and I need to make sure I’m doing the things that I’m doing because that’s what I WANT to be doing.  (Don’t get me wrong, I know relationships are a give and take and I’m completely down with compromise but on the other hand, it’s so easy for me to chameleon myself into someone else’s stuff.)   I like doing a lot of different things so it’s easy for me to just go along until I wake up and realize I’m not doing any of the things I like to do anymore.   

          Which brings me to the good timing of this movie, I’ve noticed in the last couple months, the comment to Hubs, “we always do what you wanna do,” is coming out of my mouth more and more and while it’s normally delivered in a playful tone lately it’s gotten less playful each time I say it.  So, in an effort to get back to the things I like, Hubs has started wakeboarding and reduced the pressure on swimming/running down to nil.  I think we’ve come to an understanding that if I’m going to do something that he likes we need to at least do it together—aka triathlon-ing (and I’m sure there are a million other examples I could come up with but those are the only ones sticking out right now.)

         Back when Hubs and I started dating he constantly told me how much he loved my independent nature and it was one of the things that drew him to me but somewhere along way I’ve misplaced that independence.  And now with the release of Eat Pray Love, I have a revived urgency to take some of that liberating independence back…

No Comments | In: Books, Life, Movies | | #

This blog has been a therapeutic addition to my life.  It has given me an outlet to work out any frustration I have with my marriage, our dogs or work or whatever comes up but recently I’ve noticed I’ve really been censoring myself.  I suppose when I sit down to write and can’t come up with anything lighthearted to say I decide not to post.  And it’s really starting to bother me; Hubs and I have done tons of fun stuff and I wish I could muster up some enthusiasm to write about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not actually complaining about my life—my life is actually pretty great, it’s just that the yucky day to day details have been wearing on me in a way that makes me want to throw in the towel…So, in this moment I am going to list a handful of items that are desperately (and successfully I might add) trying to steal the thunder away from all the fun/funny stuff and hopefully we can get back to normal.

• No matter how I calculate our finances, Team Carter can shoot a monthly budget to hell in the matter of moments.  I need to learn to say no.
• I wish my family wouldn’t always blame Hubs for our impending (and by impending I mean months and months and months away) move to Lee’s Summit.  I found the neighborhood.  We picked the house.  And Hubs is in no way, shape, or form trying to pull me away from my family.
• Hubs will say yes to anything—taking the bathroom trash out on trash day, being on time, cleaning the garage, taking the bike rack off the truck, getting his paperwork together to get paid on contracting work, working out after work, following up on misc life issues, and ect ect ect but I still have to nag the crap out him to get results.  I’ve joked around about having him sign a piece of paper every time he says yes, but it’s really starting to wear on me.
• My job has set some ridiculous goals for me (and all the other sales people) that make it hard to believe for one minute those particular numbers are attainable.
• I’m missing my friends.  When I was single they were my lifeline to the world and now I’m starting to notice a major dip in friend time.   I feel like I barely see them.  I can only imagine how much worse its gonna get after we have kids
• Operation 20lbs (aka “Operation:  20lbs Might Have Been A Little Overzealous Buuuut My Clothes Are Fitting So Much Better) is going slow.  And by slow I mean, I’m going to need the rest of the winter to actually lose 20 lbs.  It so frustrating.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are REAL problems out in the world: hunger, homelessness, work place violence, ozone alerts but somehow in my life these seem like real daily problems that build up and build up and build up until all I want to do is scream and so, I just say nothing.

So, since I can’t afford actual therapy, I’m going to start writing about my actual life.  The good, the bad, and the ridiculous.  And while I have no idea where it’s going to go, I’m hoping there will be more good/ridiculous than the yucky posts.

No Comments | In: Being an adult is lame, blogging | | #