…love Jillian

It is true.  I’ve pretty much stopped blogging the last couple months.  And the emails and questions about when I’m going to start again proves my lack of posts have not gone unnoticed.  But in my defense, have you seen Little Stuff?  Who has time to blog when they could be holding the best baby in the world?  Look at that face:

And this one:

What’s that?  You’ve read my Tweets about how the wee one sleeps through the night?  Oh, Ok.  Then, let’s just be honest  about my lack of blogging.  I’ve been a little bit torn on the content and direction I want to go.  See, having a baby makes you crazy hormonal and in my personal experience I have no business posting my crazy hormonal thoughts for the world to read.  Cause seriously, after you post something on the interwebs—it’s there forever.  And the things that have been on the forefront of my mind are not the types of things I want to post for my family, friends, and co-workers read. Or more importantly, the coworkers of my family and friends.  Some things are best kept to yourself…at least for now.

Also, since Little Stuff’s arrival I’m in crazy “get things done and organzied” mode.  And this blog is messy, unorganized, and I want to basically scratch the whole thing and start over.  If you could see the list of random tags/categories I have made and the 40 started but never finished post you would understand why the new OCD me wants to start over…also, I want a new layouot.  So, perhaps there will be a jillianranee.com facelift coming soon!  

In the meantime, I AM going to start posting baby updates again.  I can talk for hours and hours on the joys of motherhood and how much I love Little Stuff.  For instance, did you see my sweet little girl sitting in a bowl of candy on halloween:

I love how she could care less about how awesome it is to be sitting in an actual bowl of candy! 

Or the family photo we captured on Thanskgiving:

You want blog posts?  Well, you better prepare yourselves for baby overload!  

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Baby Elizabeth is due to make her debut any day now.  Everyone (and I mean everyone) is on pins and needles waiting; some even calling twice a day to check on “how I’m feeling.”  Well, rest assured, she should be here soon.  And as excited as I am for her arrival–tonight, I found myself eating dinner relishing in the quiet moments of what my life USED to be…

Hubs met a friend after work which left me to my own devices for dinner.  Without even thinking I reverted right back to my pre-Hubs go to—I grabbed a box of Stove Top (Yum), a bag of Steamfresh broccoli/cauliflower medley and a piece of chicken.  I sat down at the bar with my iPad, ate, and caught up on my favorite blogs.  When I was finally done eating, I looked around and both puppies were sleeping, and the house was totally silent.  No tv, no barking, no Hubs talking and I was completely happy to be right there—completely alone, sitting in the quiet with nothing to do or say.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago, my life was full of quiet nights on the couch eating dinner out of tupperware (cause seriously, why would you EVER use actual dishes when you can just prepare meals in the very container they will be stored in?) and I surprised myself with how “normal” I felt—it was like I reverted back to my previous life when everything was so easy and simply (and how quiet and calm Maggie can be when it’s quiet and calm in the house.)  It was a moment of pure bliss and I somehow felt like I was cheating on my current life OR maybe this is the universes way of allotting me one more quiet moment before my life turns into a crazy blur of sleepless nights, feedings, crying, and poop and if that is the case, I say, Thank You Universe.*

*The moment I finished typing, “Thank You Universe,” the garage door went up and both puppies are currently running around barking like a couple of uncontrollable wild dogs and Hubs is talking on the phone (not acknowledging or saying hi to them so they will shut up) and my quiet night is officially over—-Very Funny Universe.  Very Funny.

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I know I haven’t been blogging much lately.  With the new job, growing the baby, and the Hubs being on bed rest there really hasn’t been much time.  So I thought I would do a quick recap on what’s been going on in life. 

• A couple weekends ago Hubs and I totally put on a one day Pop Warner cheerleading camp. I could bore you for hours with details but the jist of it is this:  we spent time with the coaches doing hands on stunting, going over rules, and answering questions.  And then the kids had a stunt clinic.  It was a total success.  Of course, I didn’t do much (considering I’m 8 months pregnant) so I relied heavily on Hubs to keep the camp moving at an upbeat pace.  We invited some of our favorite local cheer buddies to staff and they brought some of their friends so we managed to meet some fun new people!  The camp as a whole was an overwhelming success!  I will say this though, staffing a cheer camp 8 months pregnant is a humbling experience.  The girls were obviously disappointed when the “fat/pregnant” girl came around to help—thinking back to 10 year old me (or even high school me) and I ALWAYS wanted the cutest girl to be our buddy too.  I guess I’ll just have to show em next year…

• Hubs had sinus surgery last Friday.  He is officially on bed rest til Monday.  And he cannot lift more than 4 lbs for the next 3 weeks.  I have to admit, I was pretty annoyed at him for having the surgery while I’m 8.5 months pregnant but when I saw him afterwards he looked so uncomfortable and miserable that I couldn’t be annoyed even if I tried.  He is doing really well!  So that makes me happy!

• My new job is keeping me very busy!

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After my earlier post I got to thinking about some other things that are going on in life that (believe it or not) are NOT BABY RELATED!

First, we are finally getting the rest of the work done on our house this week.  After the big hail storm back in April our insurance company decided we needed a new roof, garage door, screens, gutters, and (thank the lord) our deck stained.  But our contractors were a little slow to get it finished.  Sure, the roof (aka the most expensive part) was scheduled and replaced right away but they have definitely been dragging their feet on the rest.  Tuesday, our deck was power washed and hopefully they will be back to stain it tomorrow. And I think our screens are scheduled to be replaces this week too!

Also, I managed to score a “Photo Enforced” Driving Award.  Seriously, the light changed just as I was at the line and isn’t it better to just go through the light than risk slamming on the brakes and causing a multi-car pile up involving a pregnant women?  Apparently not, because KCMO did not hesitate to mail  a ticket for $100 accompanied by photos of the alleged infraction.  The worst part of getting a ticket?  This does not boad well for my ongoing argument with Hubs about who is the worse driver.  Seriously, he drove on the wrong side of road.  Not once but twice.  I mean, suuuuuuuure he was going well below the speed limit but let’s be real; driving on the wrong side of the road totally discredits his, “slower is safer” platform.  But for now, I suppose any traction I gained with the “driving on wrong side of the road” instances was lost the moment I opened that stupid piece of mail.  Can someone ask Hubs for $100 for me :)

And speaking of $100, the same day my infamous ticket arrived I got a bill from my primary care physician for an office visit I made over a year ago.  It turns out since we discussed getting pregnant during the appointment my insurance is refusing to pay.  Apparently, discussing trying to get pregnant is the same as a fertility issue.  Isn’t insurance stupid?  I mean, unless someone from Blue Cross and Blue Shield of KC is reading this post and then I meant, how awesome is it that I’ve only had to pay a one time $20 co-pay to my OB-GYN?  I guess it kind of balances out (but let’s not tell them.)

Oh, and now that I finished that paragraph I realize that the preface of this post is officially null and void since I’ve talked about “getting pregnant,” “trying to get pregnant,” and “co-pays at the baby doctor.”  Anyway, let’s get on with the “Non Baby Related” topics, shall we? Actually, now that I mention it, I really only have one additional non baby related topic and that particular topic deserves it’s own post entirely—so I will save it for tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have a whole plethora of baby related things to talk about, like the nursery (should I post step by step pics or wait for one exciting before/after,) our baby name (and how I’m having an increasing difficult time keeping it a secret,) how I feel like I need to get a crackalackin (yes that’s a real word) on updating my registry, and deciding weather or not I should take a birthing class.  Should I prepare myself for what’s to come OR should I just wing it? I have a feeling Little Miss is coming out whether I take a birthing class or not so I’m kind of on the fence about birthing class.  (Oh, and while I was writing that sentence I thought maybe I should have said, “we,” but in my next thought I thought “we” won’t being pushing the little bundle of joy out of a key hole, I am, so I decided to stick with “I”  Although, it is entirely possible Hubs might want to be prepared for what’s to come.  Maybe I should ask him what he wants to do—perhaps he can be the swing vote.

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Life is so good right now.  We have a new house, our jobs are going great (although, that is quite a turn of events from how I was feeling about my job a mere 3 months ago) and we have a sweet baby girl on the way.  I couldn’t imagine things going any better. 

I’ve already posted about the ultrasound but I just can’t get over it.  People have babies all the time and in the grand scheme of the world, this baby is but one, however, I still feel like this is the most important news and the world should just stop in celebration.  I’m shocked CNN has no interest in the life Hubs and I are creating!  Seriously, CNN, this is big news!   

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel like a completely different person than I did 3 days ago.  And I can’t imagine ever doing anything more important than growing and loving and protecting this baby.  Up till now, my life has been filled with a lot of happy times and also a lot of loss (A brother and 3 generations of grandparents on my moms side) and I couldn’t ever imagine an event whose enormity would  ever over shadow the feeling of loss and resentment at the world for making it so damn hard.  But somehow, this does—this makes me realize that while the world can be a cruel, hurtful, and unrelenting place—it can also be kind, forgiving, and incredibly generous.  

Here’s hoping that the next 5 months go as smoothly as the first and we find ourselves laughing at how much we thought we loved this little girl 5 months ago.

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I know it’s been quite some time since my last post and after seeing my Google stats I see that a lot of you are coming back time and again looking for something new.  Hubs and I have had a lot of things going on–you know, with buying a house, packing, judging cheerleading, blizzards, and such it’s been a little bit hectic.   Also, every time I sit down to post my entry never really rounds out exactly how I was hoping and I end up deleting it.  So, I thought I would just write about what’s been going on in our lives…

• Let’s start with what I’m doing RIGHT now…and that’s eating chicken noodle soup from Panera.  My usual lunch go to is half the Chipotle Chicken sandwich with a cup of soup.  Today I was disappointed to see the recipe had changed but when I tried it…I loved it.  It’s super yummy!  I highly recommend it.
• We are set to close on our house in two weeks!  Two weeks?  I need to get back to packing…ASAP.  I’m a little bit torn on whether we should move in the weekend after we close or spend a weekend cleaning, shelf papering, filling holes in the walls/letting the boys do their stuff before we actually move in.  I think I’m leaning in that direction.
• We are not any closer to finding renters than we were a month ago.  I’m starting to get a little bit nervous.
• Hubs and I signed up to judge several cheerleading competitions this season and we are having a great time traveling around, judging with cool people, and staying relevant in a sport we both love.  Also, it’s a nice change from racing.  We are going to be judging quite a bit until April (the end of the all-star season) and I think by the end April we will both be ready for a break.  Most of our competitions have been pretty local (within driving distance) but we have a couple coming up in Denver (we will finally get to meet Baby Boeckman :) and Connecticut (which Hubs is super excited about since he’s never been there.) 
• My job is going a lot better.  I’ve turned a corner and my numbers are growing every month.
• I stopped talking to a good friend.  She had a baby and things changed.  Not in a ‘I don’t understand about having a baby,” way.  Changed in a “I have a baby now and if you want to meet me and my baby you need to accommodate me no matter how many times I stand you up at the last minute” changed.  I basically gave up the day she left me sitting at our lunch destination for 10 minutes and didn’t bother to let me know she wasn’t coming till I texted her.    Don’t get me wrong, I have friends with kids, even babies, and sure there are times when our plans don’t aline with babies schedule and I’m perfectly fine with that…but this particular friend took it to a whole other level.  Anyway, the point is that after a couple months of waiting for her to make a move…I sort of miss my friend. 

Anyway, those are the highlights of life right now.  I know I need to post more….maybe I will find some time during our next blizzard–fingers crossed :)

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So, we have so much exciting stuff going on right now.  I’ve had a couple big days at work setting up some new high volume accounts…which should come in handy when it comes time to move into our new house.   (Moving is expensive.  So is puppy food.)

Speaking of the new house, we finally got the official paperwork organized and we will be doing inspections on Saturday!  I’m getting really excited to move.  Now, I just need to start packing….maybe I will do that this weekend too.  You know, after I nap.  I have the worst cold right now and everytime I start to feel a little better, I relapse–mostly at night and first thing in the morning.  Nothing feels worse than when you can’t stop coughing…

Last weekend we had a busy and fun weekend, we went to the Kansas City Comets soccer game.  We had never been before and it turned out to be a really good time.  (Some of our finest heckling for sure :)

 Then, I went to see Black Swam with a good buddy on Saturday.  (I had heard some less than favorable reviews from my family BUT since there was so much skuttle butt about it, we thought we should make our decisions. 

I thought Natalie Portman did a great job and I loved all the dancing but I could have done without all the weird sex scenes—I got a little embarrassed and I don’t embarrass easy.  

Then Sunday was family day!  We watched the Chiefs lose their playoff game (I can’t help but still LOVE them) and had dinner.  It’s always nice sitting on the couch with Mom, Dad, and Juls, it reminds me of living at home….and how easy life was then.

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Today is my birthday.  The big 31.  And while I mostly still feel like I’m in my 20’s a few things have definitely changed (in no particular order): 

• There was a time (not too long ago) when I could smell my own feet.  That’s right folks; I could get my toes to my nose with no problem at all.  A few weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch with Hubs and noticed that my feet felt a little sweaty (which sort of concerned me since I had just showered) so since they were in Hubs’ lap, I asked him if they smelled.  He made a gross face so I grabbed one of them and pulled it towards my nose only to realize I could only get it a little over half way and in the process made a sound like a 90 year old women had just stooped down and got back up.  I seriously thought my hips might have broken it was so loud!  I still don’t know if my feet smelled that night.
• My metabolism is not coming back.   Like Ever.  It’s a struggle to merely maintain my current weight.  And my love affair with food is growing stronger and stronger year to year. 
• There was a time my biggest “want” was a fun night out and a nice boyfriend.  Now my biggest wants revolve around moving into an actual house coupled with getting Hubs to load the dishwasher and pick up his clothes.
• I’m still not sure what ‘Get your Diamonds Up’ means….
• 4 inch heels are getting less and less comfortable.  And comfort wins out on fashion more times than not….nothing beats a good pair of fuzzy boots and leggings!
• Having a baby has turned into a high priority.  Cause seriously, I’m not getting any younger.  It was only a couple years ago my girlfriend and I joked around about having a ‘community’ baby…now I really want one of my own.

I’m sure this list will grow longer and longer the older and older I get but for right now, I’m hanging on to my youth as long as possible.  Sure I could have smelly feet while wearing fat girl pants but all in all it’s not so bad….

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So, I have a ton of topics that need to be discussed, none worthy of their own post so here they are:

• I purchased the Laser Hair Removal Groupon a couple weeks ago but cannot get up the nerve to actually make the appointment.  I mean, I hate needles — I cried like a baby when I was forced to take an additional measles shot when I was 19 (yeah, I know laser treatment isn’t NEEDLES but I’m just trying to give you a measuring stick for my pain tolerance.  It’s low.)  So, now every time I think about calling and making my first appointment I immediately get sweaty and nervous.  I think Hubs is gonna have to go with me….isn’t that why women get married?  So, they have someone to drag along on scary (albeit elective) appointments?




• Fusion is working.  I know it.  I can feel it in my legs and butt and shoulders and abs.  And I’ve noticed that every time I think I’m building up some sort of tolerance to the level of Fusion I’m doing there is a more advanced modification; and so begins the pain all over again.  I think that is why I love it.  When I started the only parts that got sore were my back, abs, and shoulders.  But the stronger I get the more deep I can feel the exercises.  It’s like a light goes off and I can finally understand what the exercise is SUPPOSE to feel like and I feel like such a dumbass because I’ve been actively participating in the exercise without being able to tell which part it was suppose to be working.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t strong enough to work the parts intended or maybe it just takes a bit of practice.  Either way, it’s working.   I can tell–even if the scale doesn’t agree with me….




• Hubs and I’s relationship feels good.  We are as happy as we’ve ever been.  Or at least I am.  It’s amazing how putting a little bit of distance (aka independence) on things makes such a big difference.  I feel like I’ve owned the things I want to be doing: Pilates, reading, school, running, and not worrying so much about our schedules lining up.  Which in turn has basically put the urgency on him and he responded right away!  I felt the shift immediately and I have to admit…it feels kinda good




• Our finances have been locked down.  Hubs got his allowance and he finally seems to own the amount.  Before, he would qualify purchases (food, drinks, snacks, exercise, misc crap) item by item and day by day whether they fell in the allowance or debit card category.  But now, EVERYTHING falls in allowance and it makes a difference since I do’t have to log in to see what he’s spent before we go to dinner or something.  The Carter Family has two major financial priorities right now:  paying down bills and buying a house.   I think if we can keep up this pace we will be out of debt and living the American dream in no time; although I’m not sure the 2.5 kids fit in our plan so we might just have 1 or 2 (depending on the sex of the first one) and let Juls/Bret have the our extra 1.5/.5–then they can have an even 3 or 4.  That sounds easier than trying to have ½ a kid…I hope Juls and Bret appreciate our generosity!  

Oh, and since you brought it up—kids.  We’re working on it (and that’s all I have to say about that)

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