…love Jillian

Hubs and I are participating in a blogger fantasy football league.  Today is our draft….

When I asked Hubs if he had accepted the league invite he said no and immediately grabbed his phone.  Our conversation went like this:

Me:  It’s hosted on ESPN.com.  All you have to do it accept the invite when you log in

Hubs:  Hmmmm, I’m not sure I have an ESPN account.

Me:  Seriously?  You play fantasy football every year.

Hubs:  Yeah, but it’s not on ESPN.

Me:  Huh, where is you other league hosted at?

Hubs:  (looking at me like I’ve lost my mind)  We write our own software.

Me:  (staring.  speechless) You write your own software?

Hubs:  Yeah.

Me:  Wow.  Of course you do.  You really are a geek.

No Comments | In: DaShaun, Marriage | | #

     Last night Hubs made the comment that one of my blog posts hurt his feelings, (it was obviously the one about how I’m sick to death of swim, bike, run, and that I don’t understand why triathlon has to be his Number One priority.)  And my immediate response to his comment, ’you hurt my feelings all the time by always picking your bike.”  He didn’t say anything after that.  Usually, we would jokingly say something silly like, “words hurt, you know” but not last night.  Last night, we went about our night like nothing happened. 

     Which started making me think about marriage and life.  Specifically, our marriage and life.  For me and probably for most people, life is a series of events; some good, some crappy, and usually most days pass with little to no significance.  I feel like marriage is the same way; some days are easy, some days are hard, and if your lucky most days pass with the simple comfort of knowing someone will always be there to hold your hair and get a wet washcloth when your head is half way in the toilet.  We definitely have that…

     Our marriage has been filled with fun, love, and kindness.  But somedays, they pass with pure unadulterated selfishness (on both parts) that is usually forgotten the next day.  I suppose that is what happens as time wears on in a marriage.  Obviously, I cannot begin to speculate what goes into a 30, 40, or even 50 year marriage after our year and half but I can see how things could deteriorate very quickly if you lose patients, understanding, and throw your hands up and say, “whatever.” 

      Hubs and I were both married before.  I think we both learned a lot about what we didn’t want.  I know for me, I know and appreciate how lucky I am to be out of an uncontrollable mess and will always appreciate having such a big hearted man in my life now.   But as time goes on (and newness wears off) you try to see the perfect vision for your life through the glasses of reality and sometimes it can sting.  My biggest (and really only) complaint in our marriage is that Hubs spends too much time on swim bike run.  Sure, I nag about household stuff and spending money but for some reason I feel like those things would magically work themselves out if he weren’t spending 12 hours every weekend training (and buying Gatorade at QT.)  And to be perfectly honest, I’ve thought to myself a million times that he would be so much happier had he found some triathlon superstar that would appreciate (and happily) get up at 5 am on Saturdays to bike for 50 miles.  (She probably wouldn’t care about mowing the lawn, or growing a garden, or household chores because she too would be too exhausted to worry about anything besides racing.)  Usually, while he’s training, I make other plans with friends or family and it just magifies how easily it would be to grow apart.   So, I try to make some time for us to spend time together but it mostly makes me feel unbelievably needly for having to nail my husband down on time and since he’s being nailed down it makes him feel caged and bossed around.   

     Honestly, I can’t even remember the point of this post, it was something about how life has changed a lot and I’m looking forward to the day when I feel like our relationship is back on an easy up swing but for some reason, I can’t even remember.  I guess I just miss the days of laughing for hours and telling stories and going places and doing stuff….

*Keep in mind it’s highly likely that his post has been written in a hormonal neurotic state that only a pregnant woman can’t see but nonetheless, it doesn’t change how I’m feeling.

No Comments | In: Marriage | | #

It’s official!  Hubs and I survived our first year of marriage!  We had a year full of love, fun, and kindness.

Hopefully we can keep our lives full of love, fun and kindness because there is no one else I would rather take this amazing journey through life with….

I LOVE YOU HUBS!

No Comments | In: How much I love my Husband, Marriage | | #

I’ve never been able to understand how people could abandon their pets.  How do you drop your dog or cat or new litter of babies off on the side of the road and drive off?  I don’t know how people live with themselves.  When I was growing up we found a litter of tiny kittens wondering around a car dealership way after hours. “We” convinced my dad (I wasn’t that old, maybe 8 so I’m not exactly sure who did the convincing but we ended up bringing these kittens home. And we kept one for it’s whole life (it “ran” away although now that I’m older I’m thinking she might have died and that’s just what our parents told us.) I’ve always brought home stray animals. I accidently ran over cat on my way to cheer practice once and brought her sweet kitten home (my parents weren’t quite as open to keeping that sweet baby but I still saved her from a motherless life on the streets.) And numerous dogs, I’m the first one to stop and check for a tag on a dog wondering around in a neighborhood, highway, or parking lot.

        So, I never understood how people could care so little for man’s best friend. But now I get it. Perhaps these people were just fed up. Perhaps these dogs were peeing in the house incessantly. Or pooping in the kitchen— daily. Maybe the dog had destroyed doors, and kennels, scared every person that ever knocked on the door, and made himself bleed trying to claw his way into the house or out of a kennel. So, here it is: I’ve hit my limit with Tyson. Sure he has sweet eyes and loves cuddling but he poops in our home and is constantly breaking out of his kennel and destroying things.  I think the hardest part is knowing that it’s not really his fault. He is acting out. He just doesn’t fit into our lifestyle or townhome.  And he’s getting blamed.

       Of course, every time I bring up finding a home for Tyson, Hubs gets super upset. And I can’t blame him.  I can’t imagine how I would feel if he were suggesting we get rid of Maggie. But the fact of the matter is this: Tyson just doesn’t fit. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about dropping him at a local shelter. I’m talking about finding a family that has the energy and initiative to give him the time and attention he needs….

       So, when I broach this conversation, Hubs convinces me I’m being rash, I feel bad, and let it go.  And then, the morning comes when Tyson hasn’t been walked and I’m greeted with a big pile of steaming crap first thing in the morning and I feel like putting him outside (in our unfenced side yard) and going to work.  

        I guess my question is this: When do you stop being the nice guy and start making the hard decisions?

No Comments | In: Marriage, Puppies | | #

These last couple weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions and craziness.  It feels like every time I get a handle on one thing…another things needs attention.  I suppose that’s just life though.   So here are a few things that have been rolling around in my head the last week or so:

• Work is still hit or miss.  I think I had a pretty decent October; however, somedays my phone barely rings.




• My love affair with Fusion Fitness has taken a little bruising since the remodel (which produced monumental amounts of dust.) I’m super excited for the remodel to be complete and we can get back to taking our shoes off.




• Which brings me to my next topic.  I cheated on Fusion with Crossroads Bootcamp and loved it.  Bootcamp is a closer drive as it’s on the way to/from work so I’m going to use the 12 session Groupon I bought and then make an informed decision as to stick with Fusion or switch to Bootcamp for a while….I can’t (aka refuse) to pay for both.




• Hubs and I had a conversation (well really I talked and Hubs listened) that might have been better had under different circumstances (someone, I’m not pointing fingers here, might have had a little too much wine before said conversation) but the jest of it went like this:  be an active part of our little family (me and our puppies), do some chores once in a while or I’m keeping my townhouse to ensure I will have a place to live when I get tired of cleaning up after him—Sooooo.  Dramatic.  Well, now he’s being super helpful and present and while I love it; I also feel like I might have been a little hard on him…after all, he is my husband and I really didn’t mean to scare him into thinking if he didn’t get over his aversion to loading the dishwasher I was going to leave him.




• (For any boys that read these posts, I apologize in advance)  Earlier this week I was on the receiving end of a Hysterosalpingogram and we found out that all my lady parts are working fine.  (You know, in the baby making department.)  The doctor assured us everything was good and that this particular test had a tendency to raise the likelihood of baby making 10-15 and in some cases 20%….so, with no blockages and a higher likelihood of the baby making stars aligning we have definitely been thinking about what life would be like with a little Bambino in our house.




• Oh, and speaking of babies, I have been hoping for Baby Heide’s delivery this week but the little guy seems to be holding strong inside momma.  So we definitely have something exciting coming up in the next few days!  I cannot wait to meet this little guy!

Only one more day til the weekend. We have a pretty fun few days planned: bday party tomorrow night, game night Saturday, and a quiet Sunday home with Hubs watching football and eating pizza which I’m really looking forward to (the spending the day with Hubs part, not the eating pizza part although pizza is pretty darn yummy and a staple in our household.)

No Comments | In: Babies, Being an adult is lame, Good Buddies, How much I love my Husband, I miss my metabolism, Marriage, Working is for the birds, Workout | | #

Fall is here.  Again.  It seems like it was just fall a few weeks ago.  It feels like Hubs just got engaged last week and our wedding was yesterday.  But infact, another year has gone by and we are looking down the barrel of another winter.  (I’m hoping for tons of snow, obviously.)  But with the winter holidays rapidly approaching I can’t help but think of last year.  Back when Hubs and Tyson moved into my cozy little townhome and the holidays came and went.  I was confident we would not be living in the same place this time next year.  In fact, I even packed our entire holiday decor collection in my parent’s attic because I was planning on being out of our house by now.  But here we are a year later. 

            Don’t get me wrong, we haven’t just been sitting around not doing anything.  Hubs and I have made some significant progress on our next move.  We found a neighborhood we love, a corner lot right by an elementary school and even paid a small down payment to secure the future site of Casa de Carter.  We have a floor plan and a builder however; this particular builder requires a 5% down to start building.  Which is totally fine by me; the more we put down in advance, the lower our payment!  We could have put the money down already but we’ve spent some time paying down debt and making sure all our ducks are in row when it comes time to apply for an actual loan.  It has been a slow and tedious transition from spending to saving but we are doing it.

            We did have a couple opportunities to move out of our townhome this past year but I was unable to pull the trigger when it came time to actually pack up our stuff and move. I hate change.  My mom refers to me as a free spirit and while that may be true in a lot of aspects of life I can struggle with change—I drove my Eclipse for an entire year after I decided to get a new car because I wanted to get a car I would love just as much as my old one and I force my family to sit in a completely different seating arrangement when I’m at dinner because I HAVE to sit next to mom.  It was no different when I backed out of an opportunity to sell the only real home I’ve made for myself since moving out of my parents house.  Sure I’ve moved a lot and gone a lot of places but something about selling the home I bought and built during my independent late 20’s was more than I was willing to give at that point in time.  So, now we can only hope for another opportunity to sell when the time is right.  



            Looking back at the last year, I think I needed this additional year to make peace with the fact that Hubs and I will actually be moving. We moved in, got engaged, and married in the matter of months so I think I might have needed a little more time to get used to the idea.  But now our home is little a cramped seeing as it’s packed to the rim with everything a young couple and two dogs need to get through life and I cannot wait unitl the day I can get out of my car without running the gauntlet of bicycles and puppy kennels.  We should have the remainder of our down payment by the end of the year and we will start building in Dec/Jan. with a move in date the beginning of June-ish.  I’m comfortable with this timeline and am really looking forward to finally taking a step that we’ve spent so much time talking about….

No Comments | In: How much I love my Husband, Marriage, Our Home | | #

So, I have a ton of topics that need to be discussed, none worthy of their own post so here they are:

• I purchased the Laser Hair Removal Groupon a couple weeks ago but cannot get up the nerve to actually make the appointment.  I mean, I hate needles — I cried like a baby when I was forced to take an additional measles shot when I was 19 (yeah, I know laser treatment isn’t NEEDLES but I’m just trying to give you a measuring stick for my pain tolerance.  It’s low.)  So, now every time I think about calling and making my first appointment I immediately get sweaty and nervous.  I think Hubs is gonna have to go with me….isn’t that why women get married?  So, they have someone to drag along on scary (albeit elective) appointments?




• Fusion is working.  I know it.  I can feel it in my legs and butt and shoulders and abs.  And I’ve noticed that every time I think I’m building up some sort of tolerance to the level of Fusion I’m doing there is a more advanced modification; and so begins the pain all over again.  I think that is why I love it.  When I started the only parts that got sore were my back, abs, and shoulders.  But the stronger I get the more deep I can feel the exercises.  It’s like a light goes off and I can finally understand what the exercise is SUPPOSE to feel like and I feel like such a dumbass because I’ve been actively participating in the exercise without being able to tell which part it was suppose to be working.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t strong enough to work the parts intended or maybe it just takes a bit of practice.  Either way, it’s working.   I can tell–even if the scale doesn’t agree with me….




• Hubs and I’s relationship feels good.  We are as happy as we’ve ever been.  Or at least I am.  It’s amazing how putting a little bit of distance (aka independence) on things makes such a big difference.  I feel like I’ve owned the things I want to be doing: Pilates, reading, school, running, and not worrying so much about our schedules lining up.  Which in turn has basically put the urgency on him and he responded right away!  I felt the shift immediately and I have to admit…it feels kinda good




• Our finances have been locked down.  Hubs got his allowance and he finally seems to own the amount.  Before, he would qualify purchases (food, drinks, snacks, exercise, misc crap) item by item and day by day whether they fell in the allowance or debit card category.  But now, EVERYTHING falls in allowance and it makes a difference since I do’t have to log in to see what he’s spent before we go to dinner or something.  The Carter Family has two major financial priorities right now:  paying down bills and buying a house.   I think if we can keep up this pace we will be out of debt and living the American dream in no time; although I’m not sure the 2.5 kids fit in our plan so we might just have 1 or 2 (depending on the sex of the first one) and let Juls/Bret have the our extra 1.5/.5–then they can have an even 3 or 4.  That sounds easier than trying to have ½ a kid…I hope Juls and Bret appreciate our generosity!  

Oh, and since you brought it up—kids.  We’re working on it (and that’s all I have to say about that)

No Comments | In: Babies, I miss my metabolism, Life, Marriage, Our Home, Workout | | #

I had a silly post for today but a couple other topics are taking precedence:

                First, I received some sad news today.  It’s not mine to share but my heart is definitely go out to the couple it belongs too and when the time is right I will fill everyone in.

                Secondly, I wanted to let everyone know that Hubs and I are doing fine.  I talked to a friend today and was asked if Hubs and I had worked it out yet or was Hubs getting the heave ho.  What can I say to that except:  married people fight sometimes and it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than an argument over who’s taking the dog to the groomer to start any REAL trouble here at Casa de Carter.  Yes, I complain about Hubs sometimes — this blog is good therapy and usually when I’m finished posting I feel all better.  And then 5 minutes after that I’ve usually forgotten all about it…

Jillian + DaShaun = 4ever

Don’t you forget it!

No Comments | In: How much I love my Husband, Marriage | | #

An old friend (I didn’t even know she read my blog) read my earlier post and sent me this letter.  I have no idea who actually wrote it or where it came from (it had been forwarded a bunch prior to landing in my inbox) but it made me laugh.  So, I’m sharing it with you:  

 Dear Tech Support,

                I recently upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as UFC 5.0, Racing 3.0 and Triathlon 4.1.   Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

———————

Dear Desperate,

                First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, download Tears 6.2 and be sure to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  However, please remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Party 6.1. Please note that Party 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.  Whatever you do DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 

                In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

                In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

No Comments | In: Letters, Marriage | | #

So, this morning I was planning on getting up super early and making it to Fusion by 7 so I would have plenty of time to cool down, shower, and stop by the office prior to my 10oclock appointment.  But, then my mommy rained on my parade reminding me of Miss Maggie’s much needed trip to the puppy spa.  (She has to be there between 8-9am and it’s really close to my house (Fusion is really close to my work); so I had to pick one or the other…Fusion or Puppy Spa.)  Then I had a brilliant idea:   Hubs could drop Maggie off at puppy spa on his way to work…sure it a little out of his way but I was certain he wouldn’t mind.  Last night when I explained this plan to Hubs he just looked at me and said this:

Hubs:  I have a 10am meeting.

Me:  Me too.  I wanna go to Fusion in the morning and get my day started off on the right foot. So I was hoping you could drop her off.     

Hubs:  I meant I have a meeting at 9am.

Me:  (looking at him a little suspiciously) Well, ok that’s fine.  You can drop Mags off right at 8 and still make it to your office by 9. 

Hubs:  Can we reschedule it for Thursday?

Me:  NO!  We make these appointments weeks in advance.  Can you please just do it? 

Hubs:  Fine.  I’ll do it.

Well, I wasn’t super confident in his “Fine.  I’ll do it.” So, I decided to take his temperature in the morning before I left and make sure he knew how important getting Maggie to the groomer actually was….for those of you that know Maggie she is NOT suppose to have “Bernstein Bear” feet. 

Fast forward to this morning:

Alarm going off at 6: Hubs snoring. 

Alarm going off at 615:  Hubs still not responsive. 

Me:  Are you going to take Mags?

Hubs:  What?  Take her where?

Me:  Defeatedly resetting the alarm for 730 and falling back asleep.  (Keep in mind I was only moderately annoyed at this point.)

New Plan:  Drop Maggie off at 830.  Make it to work by 915.  And that would give me a few minutes to get some last minute things organized before my meeting. 

730  Snooze

745 Snooze

750  Snooze

755  Hubs gets in the shower

809  Hubs gets out of the shower

Hubs:  Doesn’t look like your morning plans quite worked out how you were hoping…

Me:  Well, I didn’t want to take a chance on you not taking Maggie to the place.

Hubs:  Yeah, that was probably good planning on your part.

Me:  (Steam coming out of my ears)

811 Hubs brushes his teeth – I get out bed

812 Hubs plucking hairs from his face – I’m trying to get to the sink to brush my teeth

Me:  You better hurry if you’re gonna make it to your “9am Meeting”

Hubs:  Yeah

813 I start looking for my work shirt in the laundry area and see Hubs sitting in front of his computer

814 Hubs sitting at his computer

I’m getting more annoyed by the second

815 Hubs sitting at his computer

I’m starting to realize that Hubs getting to work by 9 was not really a high priority

816 Hubs sitting at his computer

817 Hubs starts getting dressed

819 Looking for deodorant

Hubs:  Do you want me to take the dogs?

Me:  Do I want YOU to take the dogs?  No, I wanted you to take MAGGIE so I could make to Pilates this morning before work—I have class tonight.  And you shoveled out ten kinds of attitude because you didn’t want to take Maggie to the place….so, I changed my plans so I could take Maggie.  It’s 820 and you have some ‘alleged’ 9am meeting that obviously isn’t a priority PROVING that you could have taken the dog no problem.  But instead I’m going to do it.  Have a nice day.

Hubs:  I love you

Me:  Goodbye.  Go to work.

Hubs:  (realizing that I’m actually mad at him) I love you.

Me:  I love you.  Go to work.

825 Hubs finally leaves the house.

I always joke around when Tyson poops in the house that he better go get his dad before I murder him but what do you tell your husband when you are about to murder him?

No Comments | In: Being an adult is lame, How much I love my Husband, Marriage, Puppies | | #